Monday, November 17, 2014

My sons found his lifelong best friend

The "pleasure maker", the "happiness stick", the "pork sword", "your bit", or simply "penis", whatever you call it is one of the unique things about being a male and in the past week, aged six months my son has found his.

When I say "found it" I am not implying that he ever lost it you understand I am simply inferring that he has discovered its existence much to Her Majesty's horror. As men we know the comfort factor that our little friend brings us, grabbing it is the first thing most men do upon waking up and its the last thing we probably touch before falling asleep. Its a multi functional tool too. We remove bodily waste using it, and we get our good ladies pregnant using it, finally according to many ladies we also tend to think with it most of the time. Men understand all of this, women sadly don't. Ask a man about his thoughts on his penis and watch a warm glow appear on his face, ask a woman her thoughts on her breasts and get ready for a slap. Its what makes us different.

So when bathing young Mitchell last Monday night you can imagine the difference in reaction as he reached down and gave it a good old tug. I had a proud father moment, and next to me was a look of shock especially when he grabbed it for the third time and smiled broadly as he had done so on each of the prior occasions. "Yes my boy you have realised that you are a man!"

Now in talking with friends over the weekend it appears that a little boys fondness for his little boy does not go away and if anything increases through toddlership. The mother was still mortified as she explained the frequency of touch and pull, the father and I shared a knowing nod of the head, Her Majesty rolled her eyes back as if to say "so this is a glimpse of our future", yes my dear it is, so best learn to roll with it......

A toast to being a man!

  

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