For those of you who physically know me you know that I'm a Marketing manager when I choose to actually work, and for those of you who don't physically know me well I've just told you what I do when I choose to work. So for me a lot of the fun with this pregnancy has been the unexpected business lesson I have received. In all honesty if someone had said that I'd get an MBA in Marketing just by her maj having a gluten free bun in the oven I would have belly laughed at them, but its what I'm getting and I expect to pass "cum laude" at this rate.
On our first trip to the gynie we are presented with a "congratulations package" with our sizable invoice. It contains a photo album from a stretch mark oil company (thanks Bio oil), a pack of Pampers nappies, some baby wipes (ideal for me to mop my brow when decorating the baby room), a hand towel, a bunch of discount vouchers, and some sponsored guide/how to books.
That weekend we head to do our monthly grocery shop and are stood positively crapping ourselves (pardon the pun) in the nappy aisle while we compute how much we'll be spending on shit disposal for the next few years when a delightful young, and not unattractive, sole approaches us. "Are you expecting?..... great what sex is it?.... oh you don't know, well here have one of each...." and presents us with blue and pink branded photo frames, thank you Huggies.
We then head to Baby City, which as an aside I have made the beneficiary of my monthly salary payment as I figure it will save my bank account from acting as nothing more than a middle man. It was the same thing, we bought one pack of nappies but came out with enough stuff that we needed a trolley.....each! More freebies than the opposition get when playing the Stormers at Newlands.
On top of this Dischem have given us a baby bag packed full of goodies (Clicks are too tight apparently), and our Medical Aid company Discovery have done the same which now explains why they can only afford to pay out 10% of the so called "medical aid rate" every time my dodgy knee needs a little nip and tuck. We are literally overburden with free useful stuff that until a few months ago we didn't know was useful.
Now where am I going with this you cry. Well lets get to the point. In the short time "we" have been preggers my office has been turned into a warehouse of branded goods that we have not paid for and by doing so "we" (royal we you understand) have decided which brand of pretty much everything we will be buying, sorry Huggies the cheap plastic photo frames were just too cheap for her maj's liking. And this is the point. As a pregnant couple you are seen as a total cash cow that is prime for a dammed good milking every day of your life henceforth. So what these very clever people know is that if they get you now they own your back pocket going forward so what they aim to do is cruise missile you from the get go and I love their thinking.
Now if only I could find a pregnant person to bombard with prison fencing......devil child that needs locking in a room anyone?
No comments:
Post a Comment